


guaranteed chemistry

by thelittlebirdthattoldyou



Series: spiker-setter week 2020 [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, CAPTAIN SQUAD, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Getting Together, Hot Weather, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, POV Kuroo Tetsurou, POV Outsider, Pining, i can't believe oikuro haven't met so i wrote this to cope, oikawa is a disaster but what else is new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26321464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelittlebirdthattoldyou/pseuds/thelittlebirdthattoldyou
Summary: Oikawa had such a tight grip on his phone that his knuckles were starting to turn white. He bit his lip, and every so often, almost against his will, his eyes dragged over to Iwaizumi’s chest. He would ogle his best friend for a few seconds at a time, eyes sweeping across the expanse of toned chest and arms and torso, before quickly averting his eyes. Kuroo didn’t believe for a second that the blush spreading over his face was because of the temperature.Oikawa just wants two things: for the summer weather to cool down, and for his asshole friends to stop coming up with increasingly contrived ways to get Iwaizumi's shirt off. (Seriously, when did Iwa-chan get sohot?)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Series: spiker-setter week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912567
Comments: 16
Kudos: 363
Collections: Haikyuu: Spiker-Setter Week





	guaranteed chemistry

**Author's Note:**

> spiker-setter week day 1: **summer** | ~~struggle~~
> 
> ~~technically this is both because oikawa is STRUGGLING~~
> 
> planned & wrote my fics for this fanweek months ahead because i was so excited!! hope u enjoy <3
> 
> title: “lo-fi children” by wild party.

1\. 

Sawamura, of all people, was the one who started the whole thing.

He didn’t do it on purpose, of course. He was far too decent of a guy for that. Even Oikawa, petty as he was, would have been hard pressed to hold a grudge against him for it.

But he did start it.

They had just completed their first term as university freshmen and been released for summer break, and the late July weather was stifling. It was the kind of heavy heat that sunk into your bones like honey and stuck you in place, the kind that made the air thick and hazy and all amber-colored. Kuroo’s and Kenma’s families had plans to go to Shimoda together, where they could at least cool off in the water, but they wouldn’t be leaving for another week. Which meant all Kuroo could do was wait.

He lounged back on a recliner, conjuring up images of the salty ocean breeze and dark blue water that stretched on forever and ever. In reality, the small college dorm, which he shared with four other athletes, was cramped, and there was no air conditioning. They’d had to improvise by placing several fans in strategic locations around the room.

The sticky heat wasn’t helped by the fact that there were six large, sweaty guys all crammed into one space. But it was better to suffer together than to be miserable alone.

Save for the gentle whirring of the fans, the room was silent. It was too hot for Kuroo, Oikawa, and even Bokuto to exert themselves by talking, and Ushijima and Daichi had never been huge conversationalists to start with. Neither, apparently, was Iwaizumi, the most recent addition to their group. He had come down to Tokyo from Miyagi a few days ago to visit his childhood best friend, just in time to be caught up in the heatwave.

Kuroo leaned back, pushing the recliner as horizontal as it could go, trying to tilt his head enough to feel the refreshing currents of the fan nearest him. He closed his eyes and sighed.

The muffled chirp of cicadas from the outside window. The rustling of fabric that signified the tiny, minute movements of his friends from their respective positions around the room. Silence.

And then —

“Oh shit, sorry,” Sawamura said, cutting through the oppressive blanket of heat.

Kuroo sat back up.

Sawamura, lying on the couch, had attempted to grab his glass of water from the coffee table without moving most of his body. He ended up dropping it and spilling its contents on Iwaizumi, who was cross-legged on the floor next to Oikawa’s armchair.

Despite the large wet patch soaking through his thin t-shirt, Iwaizumi waved him off. “Don’t worry about it.”

Sawamura, with visible effort, dragged himself into a more upright position. “Sorry, let me get a towel or something — ”

Iwaizumi shrugged. “Nah, it’s no big deal.” He grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head in one swift motion, tossing it somewhere to the side. “Kind of nice, actually.”

Kuroo raised an eyebrow, impressed despite himself. Iwaizumi, according to Oikawa, no longer played volleyball at his university, but he obviously wasn’t slacking when it came to working out.

And that would have been — should have been — the extent of it. Sawamura lied back down. Bokuto made a mopey noise from where he was sprawled out on the floor in front of the TV. Ushijima, occupying the seat on the other end of the couch from Sawamura, had not glanced up from his textbook for the entire exchange.

Kuroo was about to settle down as well, when he happened to look in Oikawa’s direction.

_ Oh,  _ he thought. Here was something interesting.

Oikawa had such a tight grip on his phone that his knuckles were starting to turn white. He bit his lip, and every so often, almost against his will, his eyes dragged over to Iwaizumi’s chest. He would ogle his best friend for a few seconds at a time, eyes sweeping across the expanse of toned chest and arms and torso, before quickly averting his eyes. Kuroo didn’t believe for a second that the blush spreading over his face was because of the temperature.

He felt the corners of his mouth curl up into a familiar smirk.

_ Oho,  _ he thought.  _ What do we have here? _

“Hey Oikawa,” Kuroo said. Oikawa’s eyes snapped to him. “Really hot, huh?” He winked. Out of everyone, Oikawa would be most likely to pick up on the double meaning there. Kuroo wasn’t referring to the room.

Oikawa tensed, guilty. Caught in the act. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, and if Kuroo hadn’t been sure before, he was now. Because Oikawa — smooth-talking, arrogant, gets-every-girl-on-campus Oikawa — was flustered. Over seeing his best friend shirtless.

Iwaizumi frowned at both of them for the nonsensical exchange, but Kuroo ignored him. The gears turned in his mind. He had a week to kill, and this, whatever it was, promised to be amusing. At the very least, he would get to pick on Oikawa. And picking on Oikawa was something he always delighted in.

That was how it started.

II.

Initially, the heat was a novelty, and whining about it was fulfilling in its own way. But two days later, they were all restless from too much time spent sitting around and doing nothing. It was Bokuto who first jumped to his feet, startling the others and disrupting the lazy atmosphere and drawing everyone’s attention to himself. He’d cajoled the others into agreeing to a picnic lunch in a small park nearby.

They bought onigiri from a conbini on the corner and trekked there, settling down in an out-of-the way shady spot under an old oak tree. It was still hot, but the sun was out of their eyes, and the occasional gust of wind passed by and provided relief. They finished their food in pleasant fashion and then resorted to lounging around in the grass.

Oikawa, sitting next to Iwaizumi and resting his head on his shoulder, whimpered in a rather morose fashion. “Help me, Iwa-chan,” he said. “I’m melting.”

Iwaizumi reached up to flick him on the forehead. “Don’t lean on me, then, dumbass.”

Oikawa huffed and climbed to his feet. “Come buy popsicles with me,” he said, tugging on Iwaizumi’s arm to pull him up as well.

“Get me one,” Kuroo called.

“Me too!” Bokuto said.

“I would like one as well,” Ushijima said.

Sawamura passed on the offer, opting instead to take another long pull from his ice-cold water bottle, which he’d put in the freezer last night.

Oikawa rolled his eyes. “Freeloaders,” he said, but he didn’t refuse them.

Kuroo watched Iwaizumi and Oikawa walk off, bickering and shoving at each other all the while, and grinned. He nudged Bokuto’s shoulder with his own. “Hey, Bo,” he said. “Remember that thing we talked about?”

“What thing?” He followed Kuroo’s gaze to the retreating figures of Iwaizumi and Oikawa, and Kuroo could practically see the way he lit up with understanding. “Oh,” he said, “right.  _ That  _ thing.”

Sawamura raised an eyebrow. “Why does it sound like you’re plotting something?”

“You wound me, Daichi. I’m just being a good friend.”

“Uh huh.”

Bokuto snickered, and Kuroo shot him a devious grin. He loved it when he was able to get Bokuto in on his plans. They made for excellent partners in crime.

Soon enough the pair returned and reclaimed their spots in the circle. They passed around the popsicles, pressing one into Sawamura’s hands despite his protests. “Don’t refuse my generosity, Dai-chan,” Oikawa said.

“Hey, I paid for those, Shittykawa.”

“Yeah, but you’re my best friend, which means you wouldn’t be here to visit without me, which means you couldn’t have bought them without me.”

“What the fuck kind of logic — ”

Kuroo made eye contact with Bokuto and nodded.

With obvious glee, Bokuto tore his shirt off, surprising Ushijima, who was beside him. He put his arms behind his head and flopped down on his back in the cool grass.

“Whew! This is so much nicer. You guys really ought to try it.”

Sawamura stared at Bokuto, then glared at Kuroo, then shook his head in a way that communicated that he wanted no part of whatever was going on. All of which was fine by Kuroo — Sawamura had already played his part, as unsuspecting as he was.

“Come on,” Bokuto said. “Weren’t you guys complaining about being hot?”

“What the fuck, Bokkun?” Oikawa asked.

Bokuto turned to Ushijima, who stared back impassively. At the start of the year, he had found that, to his horror, Ushijima was impervious to his puppy-dog eyes. He’d complained about it to Kuroo often enough, and Kuroo was grudgingly impressed. And envious. Loathe as he was to admit it, those eyes worked on him more often than not.

And now, with any luck, they would be just as effective on their intended target. Bokuto directed his pleading expression to Iwaizumi, who cringed under the full brunt of it. “Um. What?”

“Come on, man!” Bokuto said. “Work with me, here. Everyone else here is too boring.”

“Bokkun!” Oikawa cut in. “I can’t believe I have to say this to you of all people, but stop trying to corrupt my poor innocent Iwa-chan!”

“Shut up,” Iwaizumi said. And, to Kuroo’s delight, he pulled his shirt over his head and crossed his arms. “There. Happy?”

Bokuto flashed him a thumbs up. Kuroo watched in amusement as Oikawa’s mouth worked without emitting any sound. This was better entertainment than he’d thought.

III.

When Kuroo announced that he would be the dealer this time around, Oikawa had squinted at him in barely-suppressed suspicion. And to be fair, he was right to be suspicious. The two of them were the best poker players in the group, and they had an ongoing tally of wins and losses between them.

Ushijima had a solid bluff and no tells to speak of, but his plays were too formulaic. Kuroo never had a difficult time figuring out his cards. Bokuto was awful, never able to control his reactions to the cards or to the bets. Sawamura, they’d found, was a surprisingly well-rounded player, but he wasn’t as competitive and preferred to deal.

Oikawa was at seven wins, and Kuroo at nine. And though he wanted to widen the gap between them and put himself further in the lead, sacrifices had to be made for the greater good.

“All right,” Sawamura said. “So I’ll play, and Kuroo can deal. Yes?”

“Fine,” Oikawa said, eyes narrowed. “What are we betting?”

They never played with actual money. In the past, they had used snacks, buttons, and get-out-of-dishwashing free cards made for the occasion. This time, though —

“How about clothes?” Kuroo suggested.

“Clothes?” Sawamura asked.

“Sure. Strip poker. It’ll be fun, and it’s too hot for clothes, anyway.”

Oikawa tried to protest, but he was drowned out by the agreement of the others. He pushed his bottom lip out into a pout and sulked. Hiding his smirk, Kuroo took advantage of Oikawa’s distracted state to pass out the cards.

He’d sorted them beforehand, based on the assumption that everyone would sit in the same order they had during the picnic. He was right. Iwaizumi was dealt the worst hand, and Bokuto got an ace-king set. Iwaizumi could change his luck around, of course, if he happened to have a latent talent for poker Kuroo was unaware of, but Kuroo doubted it.

By now he had done all he could to ensure his preferred outcome, and the game began.

Bokuto, excited by his cards, bet high. Ushijima, ever the cautious player, folded immediately. Kuroo watched Iwaizumi’s face; there was a slight crease to his brow, but Kuroo couldn’t tell whether that was a reaction to the cards or his default poker setting.

As the game progressed, Kuroo learned that Iwaizumi was a daring player, perhaps overly so. He threw the other players off with his risky wagers, but Kuroo had the benefit of knowing Iwaizumi’s cards, and he knew he was bluffing.

It was a good bluff. Kuroo was almost impressed. But soon Sawamura and Oikawa folded, and it came down to him and Bokuto. They both went all in, and the observer s— in particular Oikawa — watched with bated breath as they turned over their cards.

Bokuto’s hand was a straight flush, courtesy of Kuroo’s machinations, and he let out a large whoop at having finally won. Iwaizumi lost with a full house.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa said. “You’re not really going to — I mean — ”

“A bet’s a bet,” Iwaizumi said, and reached for the hem of his tank top. Oikawa squeaked and covered his face with his hands.

Afterwards, Oikawa pulled him aside. “Kuroo,” he hissed, “I know you’re up to something. What the hell are you trying to pull?

Kuroo feigned innocence. “What do you mean? I’m just doing the world a favor, getting Iwaizumi’s clothes off. Have you seen those abs?”

“What — you can’t — he’s not a piece of meat, Tettsun! You can’t just perv on him like that!”

“Oh, but you can?”

Oikawa reddened. It was hilarious to watch. “I’m not — ”

“Lying isn’t a good look on you.”

Silence reigned for a brief, still moment, and then Oikawa deflated. His shoulders slumped, and his gaze faltered. “Whatever you’re doing,” he said, “if you’re trying to — I don’t know, set me up or whatever, just stop. Iwa-chan’s my best friend. I’d be stupid to give that up.”

That… well, that sort of stopped Kuroo in his tracks. Oikawa looked tired, a bit sad, in a way Kuroo had never seen him. The brief hint of vulnerability, especially from someone who seemed so sure of himself all the time, was almost enough to make him reconsider everything.

Almost.

There was one more piece to put into play. And Kuroo wouldn’t have started this whole charade if he didn’t think Iwaizumi felt the same way — he wasn’t  _ that  _ bad of a friend, thanks. He was pretty sure no one could put up with Oikawa for so long without being at least a little in love.

\+ 1

The enmity between Oikawa and Ushijima had faded over the term thanks to time and proximity, but feelings like that didn’t disappear completely in the span of a few months. Some of the sentiment remained. And that lingering rivalry was easily exploited for Kuroo’s purposes.

It was the day before he left, and he was in a hurry to speed things up. So maybe the way it happened was less subtle than he would have liked, but he needed to get Oikawa and Iwaizumi together sometime before the end of the century.

The lovebirds in question were ordering drinks for the rest of them, hunched together under an umbrella table at an outdoor café.

“I don’t see how me asking Iwaizumi to take his shirt off will encourage Oikawa to confess to him,” Ushijima said.

Daichi groaned. “I thought we decided that listening to Kuroo is never a good idea.”

“I’m offended,” Kuroo said. “I have great ideas. Right, Bo?”

“Yeah, totally, Kuroo!”

“That definitely sounded like sarcasm,” Sawamura said.

Kuroo glowered at him. “Bo’s never sarcastic. And come on, we’re going to be able to hold this over Oikawa’s head forever. It’ll be great.”

“I still have questions,” Ushijima said, raising his hand like they were in class.

“Uh, wait you guys, they’re coming back,” Bokuto said.

Kuroo gestured for everyone to shut up. “Okay. No time to explain, buddy, so just go along with it. Everything’ll work out in the end, promise.”

“Hey guys, what’d we miss?” Oikawa asked, setting down the trays of their various iced drinks. Kuroo didn’t miss the wary scowl sent in his direction.

“Iwaizumi,” Ushijima said, before they had a chance to take their seats, “please remove your shirt.”

“Um.” Iwaizumi blinked. “Why?"

“I… don’t know. I’m told it will help Oikawa in his romantic pursuits.”

“Kuroo,” Oikawa said. His voice sounded strangled. “You  _ asshole _ .”

Iwaizumi turned to face him. “Shittykawa? You want to explain?”

“Oh my god. No way, Iwa-chan. There is no way Ushiwaka of all people is getting you naked before I do. Shirt off. Now.”

Oikawa fisted his hands in the shirt material as if to claw it off of Iwaizumi’s body. Iwaizumi, bewildered, lifted his arms and let him slide it over his head. “What is wrong with you? Wait, you want to see me naked?”

Oikawa winced under the force of Iwaizumi’s confused glare. He picked at the balled-up shirt in his hands. “I don’t know, Iwa-chan, what do you want me to say? ‘Yeah, I want to see you naked and I think you’re really hot and every time you look at me I can’t think about anything else and I’m maybe in love with you?’”

“Oh my god,” Kuroo whispered. “He’s even more of a disaster than I thought.”

Bokuto laughed.

“Uh, wait — what — Oikawa, are you serious? You — this isn’t a joke, right?”

“They’re both disasters,” Sawamura said, despairing.

“No, Iwa-chan, you idiot. I love you, okay? I said it, so just reject me or ask me out or whatever you’re going to do so this can be over with and I can go kick Kuroo in the dick.”

Kuroo crossed his legs.

Iwaizumi, though, softened. “Okay. Will you be my boyfriend, Shittykawa?”

Oikawa blinked. His lips parted around a small, surprised sigh. “I — um.” He swallowed hard. “You’re really going to call me that now? Unromantic.”

“Is that a no?” A smile played at the corner of Iwaizumi’s lips.

“Obviously it’s not a no. You’re so dense.”

Iwaizumi’s smile widened. He leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, one of his hands coming up to rest on Oikawa’s cheek. “I love you too. Even though you’re a whiny bitch sometimes."

Oikawa opened his mouth to protest, but Iwaizumi’s lips were on his before anything could come out. They melded together; their mouths moved in sync. Around the table, everyone groaned and averted their eyes. Kuroo was about to clap to get them to cut it out — this was still a public space, after all — when someone beat him to the punch.

“Excuse me, sirs,” one of the waitresses said, wringing her hands nervously. “If you could, uh, please cut that out? You’re kind of. Distracting the other customers.”

Iwaizumi tore himself away sputtered out an apology, while Oikawa laughed. Waving her away, he grabbed his new boyfriend’s hand and bounced back to their shared table.

“So,” Kuroo said, once they sat down, “everything worked out. Are you going to admit that I was right?”

“Don’t test me. I’ll still kick you.”

Well, that was as much of a  _ thank you  _ as he was likely to get where Oikawa was concerned.

Kuroo took a sip of his iced coffee to hide his smile. By god, were his friends high-maintenance. Nothing like Kenma. He had no idea how they were going to survive without him.

**Author's Note:**

> i only have a very vague idea of how poker works and an even more vague idea of how strip poker works. pls forgive.
> 
> will be posting fics for every day this week so <3 check those out later if you want!
> 
> [my tumblr](https://thelittlebirdthattoldyou.tumblr.com/)


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